I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
