Don't you send me to vm
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
two words: eviction party
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
