As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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