so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
