its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
