So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
