i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
