I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Sober January is a disaster.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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