Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
When are your genitals available?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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