OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
