Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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