hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize