dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
