So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
