My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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