Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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