Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
it's great music for shaving your balls
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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