I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
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What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
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I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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