It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
As shirtless as possible
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
