All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
