Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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