he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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