I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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