So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
