Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
