new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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