did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
