I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
My dad is sitting where you rode me
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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