Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
where are my eyebrows?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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