Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize