Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize