Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
so let's talk penis.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.