On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize