You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
