Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
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Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
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Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
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Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?