Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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