i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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