An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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