Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
