I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
