I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
