i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
