I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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