My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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