you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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