Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
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After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
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I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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