I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
