You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just high enough for therapy.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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