escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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