ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
