Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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