Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
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Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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