Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
