I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
