You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize