am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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