During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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