Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
