Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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