You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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