Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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