i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
