she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
